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Metro.uk.co
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A quarter of people in the UK believe robots would be better than human
politicians.
Well, I’m here to persuade the other
three-quarters that having a robot in Parliament would be better than having
Nigel Farage or Boris Johnson
Power corrupts, absolute power
corrupts absolutely.
Yet AI leaders would be truly
altruistic.
To achieve this, we could program
computers with agreed ethical standards and make decisions on predefined
guidelines.
Bots are already invading the
corridors of power.
There is an AI that automatically
writes speeches.
And, in America, a man ironically named after
a fortune-telling machine in tacky beachside resorts challenged a supercomputer
called Watson for the presidency.
Zoltan Istvan ran for the
Transhumanist Party, which advocates research into technologies such as AI,
bionics, and, umm, conquering death.
However, in the end, both IBM and
the law, which forbids anyone except a natural-born citizen to run, put paid to
this campaign.
But what of the issue of cyber
security?
Could a robot leader be hacked,
then influenced by another nation?
What if, say, Putin was the puppet
master of the President, with his finger on the button of certain apocalyptic
annihilation?
Ahem.
OK, maybe assigning a robot to the
most powerful political position is far from a foolproof plan, but is it any
worse than our current situation?
At least its Tweets would be
grammatically correct.
1. Would
you want Trump kissing your baby?
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Metro.uk.co
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Imagine it: President Trump spots your baby girl in a crowd and puckers his meaty lips to slather a big wet kiss on her rosy cheek?
Or instead: an iron giant extends its mechanical neck
over your little darling’s face, ominously whirring while it lowers its steely
pout towards her?
Yes, I thought so, it’s the robot every time.
2. Robots will
do all the work and pay you to live the high life
Already, it is being proposed that when robots take our
jobs, they will need to pay taxes to fund our unemployment benefit.
And as for expenses, what robot needs a duck house,
garlic peeler, or light-bulb?
Instead, we will be free to spend all our time with sex
robots, travelling the world by Hyperloop, or even playing VR games on Mars.
3. Robots are logical
Under the DeepQA system, supercomputers such as Watson
are already capable of speedily analysing different perspectives and political
agendas on any subject.
They won’t succumb to the basest human
instincts of lust, greed, and corruption.
4.
Robots are not influenced by vested interest
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Metro.uk.co
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Many disgruntled voters believe most leading politicians are in cahoots with big business.
But robots won’t dribble at all the filthy lucre
offered to tempt them into voting to keep online gambling, for instance.
However, world dominion might admittedly tempt them at
some point.
5. Politics would become less, well, political
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Metro.uk.co
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Robots don’t point score.
They’re above all that.
You won’t see a robot finding incriminating sexbot hard
drives on the opposition.
Or leaking evidence of robot dancing at parties with
foreign agents.
6. Robots don’t have ridiculous hairstyles
OK, so our PM, Theresa May, has a
fine-looking barnet.
But some would argue male
politicians need a blond bouffant to make an impact, such as those specimens
sported by Trump and Johnson.
Or what about the greasy crow that
died on Kim Jong-un’s scalp?
Robots will probably sport an
elegant metallic gleaming bald pate.
You never know, it might catch on.
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