We’ve all heard of the cliché after a breakup: boy goes on holiday with the lads, girl cuts their hair for a dramatic makeover.
That makeover is standard regardless of the circumstances of the breakup. But when cheating’s involved, the physical reinvention seems to ramp up a notch.
Celebrities aren’t exempt – Jeremy Meeks’ ex-wife reportedly underwent cosmetic procedures including eyelash extensions, eyebrow microblading, cryotherapy, and vagina tightening.
She’s certainly not the first or last woman (or man) to undergo a dramatic physical transformation after being cheated on.
If you’ve been cheated on, posting lots of sexy selfies on Instagram/Snapchat (insert as appropriate) is as de rigeur as plotting revenge. If they just *happen* to see you looking amazing? Brilliant.
But why exactly do women have such massive image overhauls after ending things with a cheating partner?
Dr Zoe Chouliara, a psychologist from Click For Therapy, tells Metro.co.uk that from an evolutionary perspective, when a woman is cheated on by her partner, she is surpassed by ‘competition’.
So by improving her looks, a woman ‘is trying to claim back her share in the competitive power dynamic of sexual attraction.’
Women may more readily blame their breakups on their appearance, particularly, says Zoe, ‘if their partners have cheated with a younger or more “beautiful” woman.’
‘Improving their looks after a break up or an affair might be an expression of such feelings of guilt and self-blame,’ explains Zoe.
So when cheating makes us feel rubbish about ourselves, we react by changing how we look – believing our partners wouldn’t have cheated if we were hotter.
That’s a shame, because it places the blame on the person who’s cheated on rather than the person who cheated, and play into issues of low self-esteem.
The post-cheating makeover isn’t all negative though. Zoe adds when women change their looks after being cheated on, it can be a way for them to move on and reclaim their identity.
‘It’s a manifestation of the willingness to grow and reclaim the parts of her identity that perhaps the woman feels she has lost within that relationship,’ says Zoe. ‘Often by changing the outside we are hoping to impact on the inside.’
I definitely agree – I once cut my hair after being cheated on not only because my ex didn’t like shorter hair but because I was able to experiment with my looks for me and me alone.
Oh and that’s not the only good news – research has found that women whose partners were unfaithful to them end up winning as they end up making better choices next time. Live and learn, right?
We say yes to the post-cheating makeover. It’s a great way to indulge in some self-care, end the chapter of your life defined by a cheater, and place your image back in your own control.
Just don’t go too far. If you’re changing yourself to try to win your ex back or prove a point, that’s not healthy, and any extreme changes (such as vaginal tightening surgery) may end up making you feel worse rather than better.
If you’re thinking about a drastic change, pause for a bit and make sure you’re doing it because you want to – not to get back at your cheating ex.
Metro.co.uk
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